Posted by: coachingparents | December 11, 2009

Sibling Issues by Danielle Koprowski


It’s been said that sibling rivalry is the competition for the all too precious resource of parental attention. The first thing I recommend for calming sibling issues is daily one on one time with each child. It can be as little as 10 minutes a day, but during that time your sole focus is that child. (More info on Connection Time) I have seen parents take just this step and in short order have an amazing transformation in the level of cooperation and the reduction of “in fighting”.

If you are already doing this and kids are still fighting, don’t panic, this is not unusual. When you hear kids fighting, walk slowly (unless they are hurting each other), remain completely calm. This is not your problem to fix. As parents we always do our best to keep everyone safe, that is our job, but it is not our job to keep everyone happy. They need to learn how to get along and resolve conflict. When you have walked slowly and you come into the situation. Never take sides! Have as little reaction as you can possibly have, let them tell the story and respond with things like, “Hmm, that’s interesting.” “Wow, what are you guys going to do?” Put the responsibility to resolve the issue in their hands.

Question of the week: How can I keep the peace inside me even when my kids are in conflict?

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