Posted by: coachingparents | November 4, 2009

Precious Time

By Danielle Koprowski

None of us have any guarantees about how much time we have in this life, nor how much time we will have with our children.

As I write this, I am 24 hours from having gotten one of those phone calls you never want to get. The news was that my 21 year old nephew’s physical life had come to an end in a car accident.

On reading something like this I imagine many of you are thinking, well, was he drinking? Maybe he was a careless driver? Oh, maybe he didn’t wear a seat belt? None of these were the case, but it is our desire to figure out what went wrong, trying to make sense of the situation in hopes of avoiding the outcome ourselves.

Isn’t that where most of us go, the futile attempt to control the uncontrollable? I wasted some time there, but very little. I can see that no amount of understanding is going to change the outcome, nor prevent any future occurrence. After I pass these thoughts, I ask the questions that have power and bearing.

What can I learn from this? Will I be closer with my family? Will I let go of small things in view of this big picture? Will I cherish more deeply the people in my life? How grateful am I that I got to know this wonderful man? How lucky that I saw him grow up? How lucky that I got to know the beautiful spirit that he is?

I recognize that my sister’s / my family’s grief and anguish are deep. That our sorrow needs expression and may be with us for a long, long time. But how awesome is it that we had this beautiful boy in our lives for 21, close to 22 years?
I hope I can remember the lessons I get from this experience. I hope I will remember to enjoy my son, my husband and the people in my life the way I do right now, knowing that the time is fleeting.

Danielle Koprowski
Free To Be Parenting Support
ACPI Certified Coach for Parents


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