Posted by: coachingparents | October 27, 2009

Mom Guilt – Have you got it?

by Danielle Koprowski

We all hold ourselves to very high standards as parents. We want to be perfect (or as close as possible), to create a wonderful, loving childhood for our children. Many see all of the times when we fall short and can not help but to feel guilty.

I joke with moms in my classes that as the baby grows on our front side and invisible bag of guilt also begins to grow on our back side. And the bag keeps growing long after our child is born. I encourage parents to release the guilt and consider the following:

Guilt can be a cover for a more challenging emotion like helplessness. It is easier for most of us to feel guilt because that allows us to feel we have control. The truth is we do not have control. Our children will experience the world including us and all of it’s imperfection, all of it’s humanity. There will be pain, grief, sadness. We can not stop it.

When we can truly accept our helplessness and trust that our kids will experience life in the way that they need to for their own growth and development, we can find peace. We can see the perfection in our own imperfection.

Naomi Aldort says it well- If children were raised by angels, they would have no tolerance for humanity.

The question this week is- How can I own my humanity, forgive myself and see the perfection in it?

Danielle Koprowski
Free To Be Parenting Support
ACPI Certified Coach for Parents
(630) 965-1747


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