Posted by: coachingparents | September 24, 2009

When We Know Better, We Do Better, Right?

by Danielle Koprowski
When we come into a different level of consciousness about our parenting many of us see all the ways in which we would like to be different as parents. Often times we know better. We know we do not want to yell, to be snippy, controlling or punitive yet we find ourselves doing these things anyway.

Many parents wonder why it is that now that they know better, they don’t always do better.

What if one day you learned that it was far superior to brush your teeth with your non-dominate hand. You decide to brush your teeth with your non-dominate hand for the rest of your life. How do you think you would do? Would it feel awkward? How long would it take you to be as good at brushing as you are with your other hand? How many times would you go into the bathroom, grab the brush with your dominate hand and start brushing? After the first month would you forget and go back to the dominate hand?

What we learned about parenting we learned from our parents 20, 30 years ago and it is the hard wired in our brain much like brushing our teeth with our dominate hand. I am sure with time, practice and commitment you could learn to brush your teeth with your other hand. In the process, would you question yourself about why it is so challenging? Would you judge yourself when you used the “wrong” hand?

Being the parents we aspire to be is no different. It takes time, practice and commitment. Have compassion for yourself, understand that even when we know better we are still just learning and practicing a new way.

This week, ask yourself, “Why do I have compassion for myself as a parent?”

Danielle Koprowski
Free To Be Parenting Support
ACPI Certified Coach for Parents and Families


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