Posted by: coachingparents | July 23, 2009

Parenting in Review

Recently my husband Andy and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary.  It is a milestone by anyone’s stretch of the imagination but, more importantly, it is our testimonial to the institute of marriage, raising children and enjoying grandchildren.

Celebrating 50 wedded years gives Andy and I insightful parenting perspectives.  We are able to look back and reflect on the trials and tribulations  we experienced along the way. If we knew than what we know now would we do it again?  Without a doubt!    You, too, while in the throes of raising your children might often find yourself scratching your head in dismay, disappointment and even despair agonizing over whether or not you are connecting with your children.  Looking into our parenting rear view mirror we see all the riches we have in our children and grandchildren and would not change them for the world. You have these riches before you as well.

In becoming a parenting advocate and child behavioral coach, I find it helpful to know that looking back is a good thing but being mindful of the daily lessons our children learn from us is the best assurance we are raising the whole child.

My Top Ten Lessons Learned in raising children (upon reflection):

1)      Trust your instincts (your gut is your moral compass)

2)      Treat your children as people.

3)      Empowerment builds self-worth.  Enabling is disabling.

4)      Influence with integrity.

5)      Speak to your children in a respectful tone.

6)      Pay attention to your child’s emotional transitions.

7)      Believe in them.

8)      Ask of your children what you ask of yourself.

9)      Keep promises made.

10)  Be firm, fair and consistent.

Michaelangelo @ 87 years old said “Ancora Imparo”…Translation: “I am still learning”.  Ditto for me too!  Hugs!

Bio:  Becky Kapsalis, mother of 5 and grandmother of 21, has taken on the role of ACPI Certified Coach for Parents to help families stay connected. She is a Parenting Advocate and Child Behavior Coach; writes a weekly parenting column; is an ACPI blog contributor, certified facilitator for Connection Parenting and Parent Talk programs, speaker and Parenting by Heart according to Yiayia, Founder. Yiayia (pronounced Ya-Ya) is the Greek name for Grandmother.  Her tag line is “Where you are I’ve been…..where I am you’re coming.” You can reach her at website:  or  email her at:


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