Posted by: coachingparents | December 26, 2008

Modeling Character for Children

By Becky Kapsalis

“The principles our children live with are the principles they learn to live by and most importantly the principles with which they view themselves and others.”

Every day we model the following principles without even thinking about it.  For example, when we accept a child’s art project and place it on the refrigerator’s art display, our children learn to be credible.  When practicing these principles and becoming aware of how it affects our children – we’re more apt to pay attention to the principles we parents choose to live by. 

Children who live with …………

  • Acceptance – learn to be Credible
  • Approval – learn to be Respectful
  • Consistency – learn to be Organized
  • Discipline – learn Self-Control
  • Encouragement – learn to be Confident
  • Tolerance – learn to be Patient
  • Fairness – learn to be Just
  • Faith – learn to be Trustworthy
  • Gratitude – learn to be Kind
  • Humility – learn to be Decent
  • Love – learn to be Affectionate
  • Praise – learn to be Worthy
  • Trust – learn to be Self-Reliant

Because we know that all children mirror their family environment and because we know that most behaviors are learned behaviors, the above list acts as a reminder of how we want our positive influences to reflect on our children. Every one of our actions influences them to behave in a certain manner. Having our children ‘live with tolerance’, for example, to teach them ‘patience’ would be to respect their deliberateness in getting things done in their own time frame, not ours, Another example would be in having our children learn to be trustworthy we need to have them ‘ live with the faith’ in our beliefs, values, ethics and morals.  Living with principles begins with us parents and becomes second nature to our children.


Bio:  Becky Kapsalis, a mother of 5 and a grandmother of 21, has taken on the role of ACPI Certified Coach for Parents to help families stay connected. She writes for a local Indiana newspaper, is an ACPI blog contributor,  certified facilitator for Connection Parenting and Parent Talk programs, lecturer and Parenting by Heart according to Yiayia, Founder. Yiayia is the Greek name for Grandmother.  Her tag line is “Where you are I’ve been…..where I am you’re coming.”( )   Email:


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