Posted by: coachingparents | August 17, 2007

Coaching Teenagers to Get Chores Done

What a Chore!

By Dr. Caron B. Goode

Tweens have a lot on their plates. They have school, friends, extracurricular activities, and impending puberty. It’s no wonder they have a hard time remembering their chores!  Common sense tells us tweens don’t remember chores because they are not important—to them. To tweens, chores may seem senseless. To parents, however, regular chores represent a sense of responsibility and belonging. Chores introduce tweens to the concepts of teamwork and time management. They also help build self-esteem and self-worth through pride in a job well done. Before chores can teach these lessons, however, children must actually do them. Therefore, chores can be an effective parenting tool only if you master the art of motivating your tween. Charts, reminders, and well placed notes are all ways of motivating your child. These methods can be very effective, but they can also be very time consuming. If time is something you have precious little of, take heart. There is a way of motivating your tween that does not increase your already heavy workload.

Motivating Your Tweens With Personal Style

One of the most effective ways to motivate your tween is to consider his or her personal style first. Personal style is how an individual responds to people, time, situations, and tasks. One person may value relationships above all else. While another feels that punctuality is most important. Still others may strive for speed and efficiency.
Knowing how your tween responds to chores is the key to keeping her on track. These responses are determined by her personal style. There are four personal styles—cognitive, behavioral, affective, and interpersonal. Most individuals have a combination of traits from all four, but are typically dominant in one. Use the chart below to identify your child’s style and how she responds to tasks. By observing and interacting with these responses, it is possible to successfully motivate your tween with less conflict.

Getting Chores Done with Personal Style Chart
Identifying your child’s personal style can help you keep her motivated. Learn her responses, act on them, and generously praise her efforts. Soon, chore time frustration will be a thing of the past for you and for her.

NOT SURE ABOUT PARENT COACHING YET? Then ask and you shall receive?

1. Download two chapters from The Art & Science of Parent Coaching.
2. Buy the ebook The Art & Science of Parent Coaching now! 

3. Join the free CAREERS IN COACHING PARENTS Teleconference by signing up – LAST ONE BEFORE THE SEMESTER CLASSES START – and ask all of your questions!

Bio: Dr. Caron Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International which provides training and certification for students to operate their own Parent Coaching business. Her most recent book is Help Kids Cope with Stress & Trauma.  Caron and her husband, Tom Goode, ND, live in Ft. Worth, Texas.



  1. hi, that personal style chart is wonderful. great help to parents to recognize the kid’s personal way of working and thinking. and i also feel many a times kids adopt the style from their favourite parent in order to please them and be in their good books. so it becomes very important that parents practice the style that they want their child to imbibe!

  2. Hello,

    Thanks for this interesting article. I’m a step father of two teenage daughters and I can sing a song about chores. There is certainly a lot to say about how motivation works and why, etc… But in the end, from a purely pragmatic viewpoint, I just wanted this “problem” solved.

    So, a while ago I set down and thought about how to make it somehow “cool” for our girls to do their chores. In the end it is all about recognition that motivates kids from within themselves. Well, I built a little web-application that truly did the trick. It converts chores into a playful competition and provides public recognition of everybody’s deeds. It rewards completed chores in a meaningful way. Public recognition of what the kids did reassures them that their deeds don’t pass unnoticed. THAT DID THE TRICK. You would not believe that ever since we put this program to work, our stuff is done!!!
    You can try it yourself. It’s Free:

    I would love to hear your feedback and if it worked for anybody else. That would be terrific.

    Many greetings,

    • Hi Oliver

      I checked out your site. great idea, providing easy solutions to parents. Thanks so much for sharing.

      Dr. Goode

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