Posted by: coachingparents | August 9, 2007

Why is it so hard?


“Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.” -Napolean Hill

Why is it so hard for people to accept others for who they are? So many people spend most of their lives trying to change people into who they want them to be, they never stop to think that each person was created to be exactly who they are.

We are each born with a different skin color- whether you are white and have a different skin pigment, or black and have dark or light skin; different hair and eye color; different values and beliefs; some of us are short, others tall; some of us are thin and others heavy; we have different skills and levels at which we learn things; some people are book smart and others are street smart. The point is that as different as all of these traits and characteristics are, so are the ways in which we move through life.

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon- instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” -Dale Carnegie

If we take a step back from a situation that feels uncomfortable and allow people to be who they are, most likely we would see a part of ourselves that we weren’t aware existed. People enter our lives for a reason and although the reason isn’t always clear to us at the moment, faith tends to step in and handle the details. Our job is to trust that all things occur as they are meant to and if we push too hard to make something happen before it’s time, we run the risk of losing a lot more than the situation at hand.

A wise friend of mine was given this advice by a counselor many years ago- If you continue to stay with what’s comfortable rather than experience the discomfort that is for a time, you will continue to repeat the same patterns of behavior with every new experience. Isn’t that the definition of insanity- doing the same thing, expecting different results?

If we are trying to move forward in life- whether in an intimate relationship or business- and we continue to hit the same brick wall, it may be time to try a new approach. Step back from a situation and allow the accepting side of your nature to shine through. If you learn to accept others for who they are, you may find new opportunities begin to grow in your life and an abundance of miracles will knock at the door. Some would say that opportunity only knocks once; the reality is it knocks often- you just need to answer the door and allow the person on the other side to walk through!

©Tara Paterson 2004, All Rights Reserved

Tara is the Founder and owner. She is happily married to her husband Chris and has two boys, 6 and 2. Tara has been seen in The Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, the Loudoun Magazine, and on the Today Show, CNN, the Early Show and 48 Hours.

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